Saturday, November 21, 2009

Love You Forever.

Warning; if you are a mother of a little boy, do not read this book unless you have some tissues handy.
When I was a little girl, I remember my mom reading me this book Love You Forever. It's a sweet and simple story about a mom who goes through the never ending joys and struggles of raising her son. Through every sweet day and every temper tantrum, she would still sneak into his room at night after he had fallen asleep, and she would pick him up in her arms and gently rock him as she sang,
I love you forever
I like you for always.
As long as I'm living,
My baby you'll be.
When Tyler was born, I was so excited to have a son and to be able to experience having a little boy. I immediately felt something different that I had never felt before with Bella- almost like a deeper protection instinct for him; a desire to protect him against how hard it can be to be a good man in the world these days. I instantly believed that there would never be another boy as cute, smart, athletic, funny or charming as my little man. And of course, there would never be a woman good enough for him someday. The fact is- I just didn't want to see him grow up.
But the inevitable happened. He grew. With every passing day he grew taller, chubbier, his dimples grew deeper, his eyes grew bluer, his personality grew sillier...and my love for him grew stronger.
I used to be the kind of mom who couldn't wait to get to the next stage. I can't wait for them to walk...I can't wait for for them to talk...I can't wait till they start preschool..... But having Tyler has changed all that. I dread the day he doesn't want to cuddle in my lap. I dread the day he would rather play with his friends than me- or when it's too embarrassing to have me kiss him good-bye. I dread the day he starts driving...and don't even get me started about the day he tells John and I that he wants to propose to some young woman.
I don't care how old he gets, when I close my eyes I will always picture him like this-I will try my hardest to remember what it felt like to hold him on my hip and feel his face bury into my shoulder and his little chubby hands grasp on to my arms for dear life. Today Tyler turns 2 years old.
Although most people would no longer consider 2 years old to be a "baby" anymore, I am just not ready to let go that fast. Even when some day he towers over me- I will still have to resist every urge in my body to hold him and see him as the dimpled, silly, beautiful little boy that I once rocked in my arms.Tyler, you have given me more joy and pride than I could ever express to you. You are so blessed to have your dad as a role model and mentor to you- and I have every ounce of faith that you will be an honorable and respectable man some day, just like him. I am blessed beyond words to be your mom and I hope some day you read this and know just how deeply I love you.
At the end of the book, the boy's mother is very old and weak. Her son goes to see her, and she starts to sing her usual song to him, but she is too weak and she cannot get the words out. So the son (now a grown man) picks up his mom, cradles her in his arms, and rocks her gently as he sings,
I love you forever
I like you for always
As long as I'm living,
My mother you'll be.

Tyler, I love you forever.

8 comments:

The Wiley Family said...

Bri...this is SO sweet! I can't read that story without getting all teary either, and I don't have a little boy! Tyler, and Bella for that matter are so blessed to have you as their Mom! Happy Birthday Tyler!

Shawna said...

Happy Birthday Tyler!! I can't believe it has been 2 years already! He is such a cutie!!

FluentNSmiles said...

Seriously Bri. I cry EVERY stinkin' time. Lol. That was a great post.

Yule said...

Happy Birthday my sweet Godson! Such a sweet post Bri! It made me cry thinking about my little "baby" boy. Boy's are the best!!

The Thomas Family said...

Beautiful. Happy Birthday Ty!

The Abram Family said...

I can't believe Tyler is 2!!! He is such a sweet boy and I hope you won't be too freaked out when he tells you and John that it's ALLIE that he is going to propose to. :)

Doe Family said...

Bri, We found out today (much to your dismay, I know) that we are having a BOY! I just read this post and got really excited! I LOVE that book and I'm still a little shocked that we're actually going to have a BOY to read it to!

The Fay Family said...

Gosh I'm crying right now. Oh how fun it is to be a mother of boys! so fun!